So first I thought I will skip writing this because I am tired. Then I chose to cancel that excuse.

Then I thought I’ll angry + lame talk because I am cranky/upset + lazy.

Then I decided if someone – anyone — ANY. ONE. — in the world reads this, I should do an honest job.

So while this might not be the greatest, most life-changing thing you will ever read, I will write it with a warm and hinest heart. That matters more today.

Also, I will try this new thing. Most of daily brain dumps records are written in the morning. In a sitting. If I break away, I break away. For the next week, I will try writing them in parts through the day. Whenever a thought strikes. Whenever I find a free pocket in the day. I am not sure how that will help me make it any better.

What I think it will help me with is this:

1. I will be able to capture more thoughts and ideas
2. Lesser chances of cranky, lazy, moody work
3. The pieces will be longer – idk if that interests you. ( But I would rather write whatever makes me happy. And while I do not fully do it, this should train me more toward it.) ((Do I think too much?))

My name on things

Some random day in Feb, I tweeted this:

Nothing that ever has my name on it shall ever have basic design. Please god please.

@akforthevibe, twitter

The thought was simple: I understand basic design. I love making fun, creative, oooooh-moment things. And while I might be able to do everything right now, I can think up decently good-looky-feely ideas. Clubbed with my spurts of absolute determination and basic Googling skills, I can figure out how to execute almost everything I can think of.

Now that I find myself at the intersection of these amazing skills and situations, it’d be a shame if I sent out something crappy, basic, bare-minimum in the world. I HAVE TO-HAVE TO promise pizzaz. Even if it’s very smol pizzaz. It will get better. But I need to actively think about it. Chase it.

Today I did the mini-pizzaz for Feमेला things. I made the Instagram templates a few days back. And I did whatever I thought looked nice then. But templates can be VERY plug-n-play-y. Our feed became monotonous. Boring. Good content but I would MYSELF not go through it. And that content effort deserves better. It was just SAD for me. So I sat down and fixed some things. More as we go.

I did spend two good hours trying to fix it. Could’ve done some other “more valuable/urgent” things. But this was important to me. So that.

Ps: Find us at @visitfemela.

Pps: @GarimaKaushal tweeted about Party Tissues. Now this is the random pizzaz I am talking about. Like NOBODY needed Jackson people to write funky copy for their party tissues. BUT THEY DID??? So much appreciate. This IS a very small example but you get the point!

I don’t think I will ever date anybody

Never say never and all but yeah. All relationships and all people and all situations are transient. I still don’t like it but now I’ve made my peace with it. And I’m okay-er with the friends leaving. Family, I don’t know. I could have waves of distance and un-distance but I don’t think it breaks off. But romantic love and all? I can’t do with the whole one day you’re super emotionally invested, next day you decide you can’t do it anymore.

One. It’s not my way of doing anything.

Two. I get upset and I don’t want to get upset.

Do what you will with that information.

Look like SOMEBODY

This was a very funny thought but I know there’s some sense in that. So yesterday was a VERY bad hair day for me. I decided to not wash it because people say I shouldn’t do it everyday. But it’s always worked for me and I’m not bald yet, so I just do it. Yesterday, however, I decided to just condition it, no shampoo. DUMB MOVE.

Anyhow. While I was ranting to C about this, I said this: “On days you look ugly, you look like a character. Consider it a dress-up-like day. You don’t like the best you, but you look the the best SOMEBODY.”

Isn’t that a cool way to look at it? You don’t leave the house looking like the best you. Pick a character of the day and play that. And if your character of the day is a tad bit funny, let it be. Being memorable is more important.

Oh, and on being memorable: Listen to this commencement speech by Vir Das. I think about this a lot.

Be stupid in meetings. Most of your life from now is going to be spent in meetings. Meetings, guys, are where people pretend to be interested in people because they are actually interested in things. Take a second before you go in these things and think about how ridiculous they are. Then go in there and say the one thing that you are not supposed to say. Best case scenario, you win them over. Worst case scenario, you are fired, jobless, homeless, but still memorable. 

Vir Das

Discipline equals freedom

DISCIPLINE. EQUALS. FREEDOM. Now I don’t recall where I read this but boy does it make sense?

Here’s how I look at it: All disciplined actions compound. The effort you put into living with discipline today might be large. Mammoth. But do it long enough and you start finding convenience and comfort and sanity in it.

Say you decide you’re going to eat healthy. WEEK ONE IS HARD. Then you break-off for a cheat meal. You feel no difference either way. So the motivation to go back to healthy is VERY low. Say you decide that sticking to the greens is still a good idea. Another cheat-meal and another homecoming. By the third week probably, two things could happen. One, you wouldn’t want to break away. You’d want to keep going for longer. Two, you could’ve started feeling the good-effects of healthy eating. Junk is just disappointing then. Slowly, eventually, gradually you’d have found convenience and comfort and sanity in your greens and grains.

And freedom? You’re just healthier, happier, comfier with healthy eating, yada yada.

This was a very simple example. But do a thought experiment (or even a real-life experiment) with literally any good habit. You’ll see it makes sense.

I will keep my brain happy

So this last week I’ve tried very hard to keep my brain feeling normal and okay and happy. And it needed simple things. General good habits. Not procrastinating. Eating healthy. Sticking my rules/routine. And letting little (and big), upset-making things slide by.

And I’m happy. And I find my brain in a better place to do things and to think things and to be.

Oh, I’ve also tried eating healhiER. Sleeping on time. Keeping my energies okay by avoiding traffic. All that. Which is nice.

I often talk about how I don’t wake up feeling normal. Like, I probably wake up at -10, not a zero. Past week, I’ve woken up feeling 0, if not 1. And when I do go in negatives, I’ve tried to not panic and worry over the time/energy that goes down the drain in my sadness. That’s QUITE helpful.

I will try to keep this going. Even if it gets boring. I really, really want to be normal.

Side note: I just remembered I scheduled an 8 AM call with someone. Which means I need to wake up at 6:45-ish.

Okay, back to work now!

See you around,

AK!