I sat down with some fancy pink Glendalough and sat down at my sad little desk. Opened my laptop and there were three 11:11s I could see on my screen. What is the message, Universe? So remember how I was so excited about my Sunday? All that I could do and all the joy that it would give me? Didn’t happen. I planned too much and I woke up late and assignment things got messy and I went out for a medium-drive.

So here I am. Trying to save the day. To get something done. But I am just mindlessly typing away. This writing sometimes feels like vain meta-work. Idk. I can’t tell right now.

Anyhow, here’s what clouds my brain right now.

I do not have a thing.

(I wish I could be more sensible about it but I don’t have it in me right now. Or probably that I don’t want to be.)

So, here’s the issue: I do not have a thing. Most people have a thing. A friend has design, another has women, another has people. Stories. Languages. Networking. Movies. Food. Music. WHATEVER.

And I have? ✨ Nothing ✨

I am just a confetti mix of everything. And that sounds fun and happy but today I feel like the main, big, confetti balloon that kids burst on birthdays. Full of candies and all. Lol. That still sounds fun. BUT I AM SAD. I CAN’T EXPLAIN MY ANALOGY.

And sure, that’s my own doing. Nothing worth remembering about me. Heck, EVERYONE forgets I was even there.

cry-break

So yeah. All of that. I have literally done/am doing nothing worthy. Or acutely interesting.

FLOATING ON THE FUCKING INTERNET LIKE AN IDIOT.

GAHHHHHHAHHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Oh you know what my thing actually is? Stupid sun and sunflowers and vibes and smiles and glitter and 12-year-old toy shop, birthday party crap. I think I’ve been doing all sorts of lame-o, mindless things and keeping myself occupied instead of, well, anything sensible.

bye

{felt pissy, might delete later. lol.}

{{man I never learn}}