Today’s writing hour is actually half-an-hour. Not the best start. I snoozed my alarm and lazed in bed. The day had already begun by the time I made it to the shower. I need to be in at least three places right now, but decided to pause them all to make this pocket of time.

I’ve realized I could use some writing-for-myself time. So created this pocket of time.

The day started on a rather funny note. I can not seem to find my vibe. And I have tried some 20 genres of music. I am the best, Jana Gana Mana, Nineteen, etc.

OKAY! I THINK I FOUND MY REASON FOR LACK OF VIBE + THE VIBE HAS BEEN FOUND. Can I pull a mambo-jumbo and tell you it’s sitting with my keyboard that helped? Let me.

So, C and I have a DD podcast. With Shreya Pattar. 

For C: She’s been an inspiration. She’s gone from fangirling to realizing she’s human now. But there’s a story of admiration there. 

For me: I saw her build her business on LinkedIn. One of the very few LI influencers on my feed. I liked it, found it interesting and that’s all.

This is just the context of our internet-situationship with her. 

The podcast.

We were deciding over who wants to interview and who wants to do the recording work. And this is our general confusion with deciding who wants to do what. Which is okay. We’ve learnt to figure it out and do what serves DD best. And in cases it feels random, we go with the vibes. (I wanna use the phrase “Slave to the vibes” but I am not the biggest fan of slaving into whatever.)

This time we had not decided. Up until an hour before we record. C wants me to do it – Priyanka’s was nice, camera confidence, all that. I want her to do it – her Internet friend, make friends with cameras, etc.

This conflict was messing with my head. I did not know if I was Greta or Margot today. (I HOPE SOMEONE KNOWS WHAT I MEAN.) 

Anyhow, here’s what I realized about myself today: I do not ever want to fill in for someone just because they think they are not good at something. I would push them to learn FOR SURE. Unless they melt my brain with the nagging. 

Another thing that did not come to me was: Literally everything with DD – however important it may seem – is for us to learn and be better at things. So, of course C must take this chance to be better on camera. (Cus she’s anyway fine with it. It’s just some silly nerves.)

Also, I would not have to wear a shirt all day now.

Maybe that’s all I care about.

No one will ever know.