I come back after a hiatus. I have been struggling with consistency and in all honesty I am embarrassed about it. Today has been a fairly decent day. It’s 1:01 AM and I am listening to Last Kiss and reminiscing a few old days. While I really wanted to ditch this and go to bed, scroll through endless reels for another house and eventually fall asleep, I am here. Typing away. With a really bad posture. What difference does one day of writing make when you haven’t written in a week? But I am happy I broke out of it.

There is nothing I want to talk about. So, I will give in and start with a Dear Diary mindset and see where it goes.

Morning

I woke up late. I have been consistently missing out on my morning study hours and I hate it. I need to take control of my bedtime hour. It’s that simple. Usually it’s not a not-knowing-what-to-do problem, it’s-a-not-doing-what-you’re-supposed-to-do problem. I will try to do better tomorrow. That is, if I wake up tomorrow.

On days I wake up late, I do very little – the bare minimum. I find it humiliating. The day started that way. Some hedonic combination of lethargy and tired was beginning to take over me. What happened differently today was talking about it to Chandni. She told me she felt it too. Acknowledging the problem and committing to an agenda (sort-of) on text helped me get out of that funk.

I did some laundry. I quite like doing my own laundry. Breakfast was eggs and ?? I do not recall. I try to have a mix of things: fruits, eggs, juices, snack bar, cereals, smoothies, etc. Must’ve been some illogical combination of this. Shower was fun. I sang How Far I’ll Go and Look How High We Can Fly and Can’t Help Falling In Love on the top of my lungs. I like the new coconut-coffee body scrub I’ve started using. I had it for a year but I avoided using it because I hate coconuts? I think I need to be less rigid. Yes? No? Idk.

Afternoon

I spent the day recording a bunch of reels. I am guessing a total of 10 for @akforthevibe and @decodingdraupadi. Which means the reels end of content for the next two weeks is taken care of. I do however need to edit, contextualise and schedule them. Not today and not tomorrow though. If I do too much of something, I start detesting it. So, I like being mindful around it.

I did not have lunch. Lately, I have breakfast, a couple of random but healthy snacks and an early dinner. It’s working well for me.

Another little trouble is not being able to hang out with Mummy, not enough. It’s not a not-being-able-to problem, it’s actually a not-actually-choosing-to problem. This is terrible. I will choose better, this moment forward. The issue is, I have a BIG compartmentalising problem. I will either hang out with her or do anything of use. So, I am usually taking Saturdays to chill with her, go places, eat fun food, etc.

After doing reels, I took a nap. Creative and physical threshold was reached? It’s fun but I’d like doing it with people. Like we would decorate house boards in Buds in Hallmark. I miss Hallmark a lot. I dream of it. Hallmark friends and I at some UN conference. There was some flight fiasco that had happened. Nevermind.

Evening

When I woke up, I really wanted to have some Desi Chinese. I had been craving some for a while now. (Sidebar: I think I should’ve gotten a Mac Pro. The Air is slightly annoying. New one?) But I didn’t let myself have it because uNhEaLtHy. After a whole round-table with Chandni and Sardy, I ordered me some garlic rice and pepper chicken. Unfortunately, I did not enjoy it much. But there was nothing I could do. Getting more would mean more junk and I did not want to waste it. So, I had a 6/10 dinner tonight.

Then I spent some time cleaning the room after all the reel setup chaos and folding/sorting laundry. I was also sad girl hour-ing while doing this. Last Kiss has very much been on loop today. I miss my friend a lot. We just talked, though it wasn’t good enough, OFC.

Night

I spent some time whiling away on Netflix. I need to stop with New Amsterdam. I hate starting new series. It sucks away my time for nothing. Maybe I will log out of Netflix and ask folks to change my password and not give it to me for a month? Actioning this tomorrow. In the middle of an episode, I mentally rolled a newspaper and hit myself on the head. This made me stop watching nonsense and finish up random little thing for the day.

Ginchy. A Twitter and LinkedIn post. DD post. Ginchy takes the most time of it all. I got back to it after a whole month – or more, I think. It’s not as great as I would’ve liked it to be but I don’t judge. Create, post, forget.

I talked with Gia for an hour. She wasn’t doing so well, I could tell in the first hello. So I moved the newsletter and extra writing for later. She’s one of those people I would move mountains for. The girl inspires me so much. Kindest, smartest, funniest, strongest. All other nice adjectives in their superlatives too.

After that, I went back to whiling a little time on YouTube and panicking about my place on the planet and the chipping away of life. Another newspaper knock and I sat down to write this. Once I finish and post this, I will go to bed.

Hood night.

Slothy.