There’s hope in the air these days. They’re talking of marriage rights for queer couples. I am excited, wishing we win <3

Also, I overslept. Again? I am starting to believe this AC and ultra-cozy blanket of mine are the problem. On most days when I have overslept, my first reaction is to freak out. Oh no, I am already behind on the day. Today, however, I think I have found my balance of we-can-do-it vs what’s-the-solution-for-this.

What else? What else?

Oh, I am going for a Social Samosa meet-up tomorrow. It’s a DD thing. Looking forward.

How do people manage to think and write so much every day? Thoughts are not coming.

Alright, let’s talk climate change.

It all started with the coral reefs for me. Such pretty things. It’s a shame we’re bleaching them.

Oh god, am I still in a funk from yesterday? NO. NOT TODAY TOO.

Last evening felt really sad and lonely. I have people I call friends but no one I could just call and chat? Some were busy, some were distant.

My closest friend lives 4-5 hours from me. I would like to visit them some time. We’ve mostly lived really far. And what happened each of these times was that I missed them way too much to care about the logistics or the practicality of travelling for 10 hours to hangs out for just a tiny bit.

Another close friend said something really hurtful. Of course I brought it up and we tried to address it but sometimes people are a tiny bit adamant and non-receptive – both of us. So now, I remain distant. I hate having irreconcilable differences. They tend to break things up.

A video I did with a friend is out today. We talked about branding, marketing, all that jazz. I have not watched it though – I am slightly cringed out and uncomfortable. No real reason. I am mostly okay being on camera, blah, blah. I just feel like an imposter talking about these things. Who am I to share ideas on these things? I am still studying. (Maybe a degree under your belt gives you the confidence to blabber nonsense proudly? Never thought of that.) Not one toe dipped in the water. While I have strong opinions and viewpoints, I am not the person who should be heard on these topics. (This is an interesting thing. Should probe deeper into the whys of this. Personal homework.)

Another goal has been to move more. I am doing fairly okay. I make it a point to swim, run or skate on most days. In the grand scheme of Instagram’s #fitness arena, this seems small. Social media tends to do that. All achievements look small. Just an observation. I don’t find it small. I am okay with my stuff. But it could be a LinkedIn post? Yes?

Eating clean is not happening. I was sad yesterday so I made myself two giant cheese grills and a big bowl of Chocos. It didn’t help. But, thank my stars, I do not feel guilty after I’ve snacked too much. That would be a very messy headspace to have. I have seen a lot of my friends go through that and honestly i find it quite heartbreaking. Most evenings I make myself momos. Maybe I should start stocking more leaves and greens in the fridge. Like a nudge towards a salad-girl life.

Mummy is getting old. I can see that, I can feel that. She has trouble hearing. She takes longer to process things. I hate it. No eating clean and no moving can solve for that. I hate it and I hate it. Getting older means eventually going away. My Rambo is also 6 now. Soon, he’ll be 7. I used to think when I finish my IIT-B degree, I’d have Rambo. I have raised him with so much love. Here I am today. College is so messed up I can’t even talk about it.

Let’s talk college actually. No, leave. It’s too messy.

Guess I’ll go now. Not feeling so great.

See you around,

AK!