Goooooood morning, sunshines!

It is morning in my part of the world. I have my PS-Cold Brew, left home in just 40 mins, little traffic, finished the YC video, sorted most of the mini-roadblocks on Daily DD things and I. AM. HAPPY. Yesterday was Ganpati Day 1. I ended up visiting a bunch of people. Indian festivals can be VERY community-community.

Side note: Manila by Ray Dalton is what I want my life to feel like. It opens with “Wake up in Manila, Ride to Belize. Dive into the ocean and feel a little free. Skies of vanilla, smell it through the breeze.” I found this song some time last year. And forgot about it. When SG told me of his mini-trip, it came to my mind. ANYHOW, point is: It feels like waking up at a beach-house and having like a super free day to explore a jungle or jump in a lake and there’s nature and there’s people you love and nothing decides what you do EXCEPT FOR YOU. I want that to be my everyday life someday. There’s more to it. But I know EXACTLY how I want to feel. Let’s go.

So, back to the Indian festivals being communal. I met with a lot of people yesterday. Mostly people in the same ol’ Big 4, Small 4, FMCG, PQRS, etc. And all kinds of them. Old and new. Well read and not-so-well-read. Relate and big unrelate. Woke and unwoke. Seemingly-quite-happy and obviously-sad. Panache, tasteful and heartbreaking disasters. Through the day, I was really irritated over the time I’d wasted. Because all I wanted to do was either sleep or do a lot of writing. And there I was, wearing the heaviest clothes (Why do all traditionals have so much fabric??) + the most smudgy eyeliner + being on my period which just left me tired/exhausted, parading around town. But sitting here this morning, I think it was fine only.

I met a lot of people. And talking to them and being around them got me thinking a lot about what I am doing and where I want to be in life when I am their age. Brutally honest? I do not want to be like any of them. And that’s just me. (Read this post about how I learnt that the best life looks different for everybody.) So yeah, that. If you ask me today, what do I want from life? What do I want to do? Or any other mature version of “Beta, bade ho kar kya banoge?” I would not know. But this was a little sneak-peek into what I definitely want to avoid. A mini sense of guilt weighs me down when I say it because sure it comes from a place of HUGE privilege. But what’s the point of having all this privilege if I can not exploit it (kindly) to not build a bigger, greater, more-impactfuler life for myself?

Side note: I want to run far, far away from everything and be a whole new person. IN THIS IS VERY MOMENT, AK IS VERY SAD. (I have noticed I’ve somehow gone from calling myself Viny to calling myself AK. Do what you will with this information) So, something made me big sad but okay. I’ll just take it as another reason to be AKPMX. (AKPMX: Read on. I had a thought I wanted to tell ya’ll about after I finish the festival and people part. But yeah.)

One hour later. People woke up and day started and a bunch of notifs came in and I broke away. Should I take this as a reminder to start even earlier?

Anyhow, I’ve to go help KP with something. And knowing myself, I will probably not come back to finish this.

So, PUBLISH.

More tomorrow,

AK <3