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If there is one thing I have 100% learnt last year, it is To Pivot. Chop, chop, pivot.

I am a dreamer, which goes to say I am a planner. Sometimes (read: secretly all the time) anally so. And hence, when plans go off-track and dreams seem to die, I find myself crumbling on the inside. And I really hope I am not alone in this – so please drop a comment if you relate 🙂 

The last year, on my own tiny personal and academic levels, things went WAY off-track. I lost my closest friends and mourned the loss of my greatest dreams. I bawled in my living room for weeks on end and then sobbed behind locked doors for a couple more months. A few of these times I have spiralled into the “Why me?” rabbit hole and walked right into a pit of “God hates me. I am not meant to be great. I will be an English teacher in the German countryside and nothing more. Time to give up on all my dreams.” Lucky for me, I also learnt to turn back and run lightning fast whenever I near the “Why me?’ spiral in the future.

I hate the ‘Why me?’ spiral. It cages you in the past. It keeps you regretting and repenting and spewing anger into an echo chamber of nothingness. And worst of all, it hampers any steps forward.

General FAQ: Anshika, how do you get out of this?

My answer and understanding as of Jan 4 11:46 PM: One day you get tired of your own shit. You get tired of the crying and the complaining.

It becomes crystal before you that:

1/ You can either be stuck in this sad, soggy headspace for 6 more months and in all probability regret doing it in the next 4-5 years

2/ Or, you can simply learn to grow bigger than your problems

An idea that was great help in develop this perspective is illustrated in this picture here. 

The thought that I am not even half a grain of sand in this hourglass of a world, where people have come and gone, and have faced worse than my shiny, little 21st-century, first-world problems – is my solace in all my shitstorms. Yes, I gaslight myself out of my struggles. Don’t judge. A boss girl gotta do what she gotta do.

My 2022 lesson for life crisis is the “Alright, shit has happened. I can see it before me. Here are the cold-hard facts. What now?” attitude. And I am insanely proud of myself for reaching here. And I admire myself, even more, every time I see myself doing it.

It’s a simple lesson – no biggie. But to my 20-year-old, baby brain – the ‘What now?’ attitude is life-changing. Why? Because it is the diametric opposite of the Why Me? Spiral. It forces me to pack my lessons from the debris and move on. It is forward-looking. Once I have given myself a day or two to sulk and sob, I am ready to go back to life and set the world on fire. 

The key to successfully doing ‘What now?’ is always being ready to pivot. What does it mean to pivot? This might not be what our overlords at Merriam-Webster tell you but here is what the word means in my brain-workshop: To pivot is to change course. And to be ready to change course – at all times.

FAQ 2: Anshika, how does one be ready to pivot?

Here’s a mini-guide.

1. Define your goals and values: Having a long-term goal acts like an anchor. You should use it to map your present situation and against your priorities to draw a new path to the same goal. (Sometimes, it could also help to re-evaluate if your long-term goal is in alignment with who you are today. This one’s a messy thing. A piece on this later.
2. Work out your core muscle: Having a strong (or even a fairly decent) skillset, clubbed with the good ol’ grit and discipline does the job for you. I believe in preparing yourself well enough to declare: I can take myself up from the rockest-of-the-bottoms. There are no metrics to define any word in my last sentence but I assume you have the basic level of sensibility to figure that out for yourself.
3. Keep an open mind: By this, I mean to have the humility and excitement to try anything under the sun. You never really know which arrow sticks. So, if you live with an ‘I would NEVER do that’ frame of mind, stop. Stop today. Or might never learn to pivot. EVER.

And that’s all.

Armed with this knowledge, I think you can successfully find your way through crappiest life situations. (Warning: These tricks might not work in case of heartbreaks. I am yet to crack that code.)

Good luck pivoting,

Anshika