10:25 PM. Versova Starbucks. My spot on the big table.

The word for the day is: Tired. Exhausted. Drained.

Definitely one of those days where I do not want to sit down for an hour and find a 1000 words to say. But let’s see what I can come up with despite that.

One. A condensed version of my day.

Didn’t sleep much and too well last couple days. Plus, brain’s been scattered. Been pretty engaged and excited though. Wore heels for the day and absolutely hate what it does to my knees. Must avoid at all costs. Was too tired to eat a proper lunch. Got back home, talked to a friend and fell asleep yapping. And boy, oh boy — that was some hard napping. Skipped a meeting and some texts.

Woke up groggy. Disassociated with Netflix for a bit. I need to cut out this habit. Stepped out for Starbucks and some gym. Met C4E folks at the beach and got chaat instead. Got some Sattoo — will start having everyday. No reason, just novelty and variety for my diet. No gym for the day. The 5k steps must suffice. Will write this, schedule Decoding Draupadi’s newsletter plan some content-recording for the 90-minute break in college tomorrow. And then see what I’m feeling like. The weird thing is, despite the long, deep sleep, I still feel very tired and sleepy. Plus, my eyes. Need to go see a doctor. If there’s one thing I do this weekend, it’s that.

Two. I do not want to be bothered.

A couple of things — some at college, some at home — left me irked and bothered and irritated through the day. And now that I sit down to document my thoughts, only angry + unproductive things come to mind. I can see in action how spending energy mulling over events outside of my control is a waste. It keeps me from doing better things. I can not afford time and headspace for this. As is, I’ve learnt not to pick a fight with trolls and haters on the Internet. Must practice the same indifference IRL. Lesson has been noted down. Underlined. And ear-marked.

Three. Talking it out.

No, seriously though. So far in life, most of my relationships have drifted, ended or soured because we did not talk stuff out. Or commit to talking things out, instead of taking the easy way out and letting things be.

The thing is: I’m VERY conflict averse. Greatly uncomfortable confronting people. Raising an issue. Tell them something does not set well with me. Without feeling annoying and petty or being worried about being misunderstood. Especially those I love. This needs a lot of trust. And trust needs a lot of talking. Chicken and egg.

And of course, I understand all the pop-culture-relationship-advice. You have to do this talking with the people in your life because you love them. And want to be comfortable having them. Etc etc. And, I still can’t. Is this ego-maniacal? Or cowardly? Or just an excuse?

I don’t know. But I hope to find out. And fix it. Shall do me good. Someone’s got advice.

Lastly. Micro-thoughts from the day.

1. I am bored of my Spotify algorithm. I want to find new and interesting music that is NOT what I anyways like. Who at Spotify is solving for this?
2. So, I make Instagram carousels updating the progress on these days blogs. Wondering if I could find a way to make simple vlogs instead. Should be interesting. As long as it takes the same time and effort as what I’m doing right now.
3. I played with Apple’s Genmoji tool today. I find it really fascinating, sure. Love being able to make anything I want. But the official Apple emojis and their annual additions are still pretty cool. Maybe collect entries from what the world is making and using and adopt those in the official collection. Or however the emoji Universe works.
4. Was gifted a spiral bound copy of Blume’s Indus Valley Report. Will finally read the whole thing. And hopefully, get into the habit of reading other data-first things.
5. Writing these blogs needs an hour every day. Definitely worth it. I must prioritise better.

And now, it’s nap time buds. Ciao.Tomorrow!