Good morning.

I have an hour before the first call of my day. An empty calendar after, meaning not too many calls. And a brain full of thoughts. Of course, no? So I figured, I would sit down to write a little something. Been a hot minute. Since I have not been a superbly regular writer, I do not have a scratch pad of ideas I want to definitely put down here. So most of this would be very stream of consciousness. Let’s go?

One. Why I do not write much these days. Because I feel like I do not have much to say. Nothing of much value to claim an email notification on my blog’s subscriber’s inboxes. There’s 23 of you, I think. So then, the next logical thing would be, fine — write for yourself then. Which gets you closer to the real fear. That I will probably report my regular every day life and trials and failures and attempts and shots and whatnot. And realise, they have not changed much over the last 4-5 years of writing my blogs.

So, if we are dealing with the same problems, what will writing over and over again change for me? But then, I remember Sam Parr talking about his 5 year journal and how his core problems have remained the same over time. He’s just dealing with them in different situations, with different people, at different life stages. That does not stop the man from doing what makes the heart feel lighter. Or to document his life and lessons. Or what brings him pain or joy. Or for whichever reason he continues to do so. Why not me then?

Next thought. Along the same lines, I think the life you live is an outcome of the person + character + life skills you have been able to pick up. And going to the next level means bringing more to the table. In my mind, I picture a very movie-esque negotiation room. In an endlessly dark room, with a mahogany table and an overhead pendant lamp. One side, there’s You. And on the other side, there’s Life. Life is ready to give you literally all that you want out of life. But there’s a price. For each single thing. And your bring out your portfolio of You. Like an asset portfolio. Show it to Life. And it tells you, you still don’t got enough. So, you walk back out. Try to get those skills, power-ups, assets, lessons, grit, character, whatever the price was. And go back in to the table.

Now, you really, really want what you want. Sure. But you know there’s a price. And keep lacking the price for a long, long time. Till you don’t. And you just might have it if you don’t stop. So, if you can sometime, try this exercise. Sit at a table. For the drama, find one where it’s just you and there’s some overhead lighting. And think of what you wanted from Life. And because we’re being superbly creative, roleplay Life as well. And answer for yourself. What’s the price? Then, snap back out and go earn it. Repeat whenever necessary.

For me, I think, the answer was ruthless consistency. Everything I wanted in life was on the other side of ruthless consistency. That’s the price. I don’t have enough assets on my portfolio to cover it. Yours could be whatever else.

Segue to the next thing. Last week of my life. I’ve tried to keep up with most things in life. Sleep routine, my TDL, calendar, meals, gym, all that. And I was feeling great about it. Very, very excited to wake up and be on my laptop around 9:30 AM every single day. And being able to do focused work. Macros were fine, cravings were factored in and accomodated for. All that. Which reminds me of a cyclic life architecture I came across the other day.

Think of 4 parts of life — work, health, relationships, and maybe, your presence/energy. You could either design your life such that each of them tax the other. Or that one feeds the next. For example, if work demands a lot, you compromise on health. When you skip on sleep/gym/meals, etc, you are tired, you spend less quality time nurturing your relationships. When that happens, you’re mentally distracted and less patient. You’re not fully present at work, with friends, or with family. Which means, work demands a lot more now. And it’s never ending catching up. You’re always wondering which part of life can you put on the back burner today.

The other way is integration of one into the other. Exercise means more energy means better work means more fulfilment means better relationships means less stress means better sleep means better workouts means more energy, and so on. And momentum is a very, very strong force.

For me, I’m not talking work-life balance in the typical dreamy sense. But I do mean stripping out all the fluff from life and designing it such that each thing that remains propels you farther. Together. Like a flywheel.

All of this to say, past week, I had some semblance of the second model in my life. And a LOT of energy. Or maybe it was the follicular phase, who knows? But I loved it. And then, Friday, I chose to go see a friend in a different part of the city. Last minute. Was not on my calendar. Despite being an empty day, it knocked things out of orbit. Ranted, ordered in a bunch of carbs, whiled away some time, for all of the weekend after. And sure, those things can be fun. But this was more in an energy-taking way, than an energy-giving way.

So, for the next times, I shall live by my calendar. Even if it’s an empty one!

Time for my 12:15, let’s go :))

Ps: My favourite flowers are tuberoses. And I have a vase full of those on my table right now. Nothing makes me happier.

Pps: I lied. The fact that my t-shirt, shorts, socks, hair tie, pencil, notebook, shoes are all brown synced makes me happier.

PPPS: I AM ACTUALLY VERY EXCITED TO GO BACK TO MY CALENDAR.

PPPPS: Tomorrow, I shall tell you about my commitment to non-perfection this month.