Hello, hello!

Here are some scattered thoughts because:

One. All my thoughts are basically one single line and I am not very much of an elaborator.

Two. I can’t do ultra-seemless transitions like Prak or Wordsworth.

I’ve decided to make CONSISTENT, HEALTHIER food choices.

The holy irony is that I write this while sipping on Java Chip. But I ate some salad and smoothie and orange last night. Also, a little pizza slice and dough balls. But as long as the salad healthies go inside me, right?

OKAY I GOT LIKE BIG, BALD DISTRACTED. Coffee for anyone who can guess how.

So, why this healthy? Because I told myself (and Twitter, now X) a billion times that I would. And it never happened. This was the latest one. On my way back home yesterday, I was thinking about how I haven’t done something CRAZY in a while. Something crazy and something to be proud of. I tried doing no coffee for a week. Not a big feat but yeah. And before it? Maybe the butter chicken vlog, hehe. It was fun – the vlogging, and the 6 hours of cooking – tiring, but rewarding. I’d go skating for an hour. My knees would cry but man do I enjoy it.

Actually, I don’t have more examples of hard-fun-rewarding things I’ve done. The trying-to-be-a-math-genius thing was pretty cool. But nothing more. But if I’m able to slowly switch to CLEAN eating, I’d be really happy with me.

Cutting off all unhealthy things in a single day hasn’t done well with me. So, baby steps. Starting with, HEALTH-IER choices.

(This Java Chip feels like a sad mistake now. But okay.)

I watched The Greatest Showman and I had a bunch of thoughts. I think I’ll put them together somewhere separately.

But quick response. Mamma Mia made me believe I don’t like musicals Turns out I only hate the annoying ones. Plus, I had a whole watch-list I had saved to watch with different people. And then we outgrew each other. For the longest time, I was upset about the drifting away and the watch-list would remind me of them – you know how it is. So, this was movie one. More to go.

Overall, I want to get better with doing things by myself. And not crying over the people I outgrow. Super natural only. I must add though, I can never make peace with the idea that people just simply fall apart after ages of being thick as thieves. And that people die and the sun just comes out and people just go to work and fall in love and live happily ever after. Like a whole life never ever happened. I’d love me week-long mourning when I die.

But, such is life. People drift and people die and it just happens. So yeah. The Greatest Showman.

OH HEY, I GOT TWO TENS IN COLLEGE.

I almost hate going to college. But I love making sure I get good grades. Most of it is easy – takes a lot of time, sure – but easy. The ICA weeks are done but profs were busy, slow, whatever and the dates spilled. This is SO ANNOYING – I. Can. Not.

We did our first interview-talking-podcast thingy at DD.

So we met with Priyanka to talk about women, workplace, representation, etc. My favourite takeaway was how real-world women-only spaces break down the physical barriers/awareness. That ease is rare. And that ease makes way for more flow-y conversations. More honest, real conversations. This was also great validation for FeMela.

I had an ugly I-don’t-wanna-cry-but-I-feel-broken session.

What happened? Just a bad day, probably. I was upset about a bunch of things, but one common thread: I FELT OUT OF PLACE. I hate the feeling.

I’d wanted to go away. Go home. But there was? None? Every time I feel that way, I go back to that one night. I was 6 or 7 – a small age. Mummy was not home. I don’t know where she was. I was just learning to sleep alone. Mummy’s room was next to mine, so I felt comfortable being alone in mine. But without her, I was freaking out. So I got Reena Didi to sleep with me. And I woke up in the middle of the night. And felt SO, SO alone. And I hugged Reena Didi. That didn’t help. I asked her to walk me to dad’s room. I bawled and hugged him and fell asleep.

When I feel alone today, I don’t have anywhere to go. But fine.

THE VERSOVA STARBUCKS GUARD UNCLE.

In the Versova Starbucks where I very often hang out, there’s an uncle in the morning.

Okay, I broke away for a call. And never came back. And probably won’t through the day. I’ll come back tomorrow. With more thoughts.

Until then, I hit publish.

Toodles,

AK!