In today’s fast-paced professional world, asking for help can be both an art and a challenge. Whether you’re an aspiring marketer, a freelancer, or someone navigating new career paths, understanding how to seek help effectively can be a game-changer. In this episode of The Adulting Podcast, hosts Anshika and Saurabh have a candid yet insightful conversation about the nuances of asking for help, the mindset you need, and how to make the most of the support offered by others.

Why You Should Pay Help Forward

When you get help, don’t just take it and run—think about how you can give back. Maybe you can’t repay the person who helped you, but you can pass on that kindness to someone else. Share what you’ve learned, mentor a peer, or offer support in your own way. This creates a ripple effect, building a community where everyone grows together. Asking for help isn’t just about you—it’s about contributing to something bigger.

Examples of Poor vs. Effective Help Requests

Many people approach with broad, emotional appeals like “I’ve had a rough life, help me with marketing,” without concrete details. While empathy is important, such requests make it nearly impossible to provide actionable advice.

On the other hand, a well-prepared message might look like this:

“Hi, I’m a lawyer with three years of experience, transitioning to marketing. I’ve read blogs by five marketing experts and tried applying their strategies, but I’m struggling to land my first freelance client. Could you advise on how to make my proposals more appealing?”

Help is not a free pass—you need to show effort and seriousness. The lesson is clear: people who want to help appreciate those who demonstrate commitment and hard work. If you want someone to invest time and energy in you, you must first invest in yourself.

How Should You Prepare Before Asking for Help?

As much as people are willing to help, there is an art to seeking help effectively. Saurabh emphasizes that no one is obligated to save you. You must be willing to put in the effort yourself before asking others to step in.

Many people fail to get the help they seek because they don’t prepare adequately or respect the time and effort of those they approach. 

Before reaching out, consider these key points:

1. Be Specific: Clearly define what you need help with. Instead of vague requests like “Help me with marketing,” specify what aspect of marketing you are struggling with and what you have already tried.
2. Provide Context: Share who you are, your background, your goals, and what you aim to achieve. This helps the person offering help understand your situation and tailor their advice.
3. Do Your Homework: Show that you have done some research and are not expecting someone to do all the work for you. For instance, if you want help with SEO, mention the resources you’ve already consulted.
4. Respect Their Time: Acknowledge that the person helping you has limited time and resources. Make it easy for them to assist you efficiently.

Respecting the Helper’s Time and Resources

Another critical insight is understanding that the time, advice, and money helpers offer are limited resources. When you seek help, you’re not just taking from one person but potentially from many others they could assist.

Additionally, many questions people ask are easily answered by a quick Google search or a beginner’s course. For example, questions like “How do I find SEO keywords?” can be answered by free online resources. Asking such questions without prior effort wastes both your time and the helper’s.

“If it’s Googleable, don’t ask me. You’re insulting your intelligence and mine by wasting time.”

Before seeking help, try to solve the problem yourself first. Then, reach out for expertise to validate or refine your approach.

The Mindset Shift: You Are Your Own Savior

One of the most powerful takeaways is the reminder that nobody is coming to save you. You must be proactive, willing to fail, and ready to do the hard work yourself. Help can be a rope thrown your way, but you have to grab it and climb.

Waiting passively or expecting help without effort will only lead to disappointment. Instead, adopt a mindset of action and responsibility. When you combine this mindset with respectful, specific requests for help, you’ll find doors opening and mentors willing to guide you.

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TL;DR – How to Seek Help Effectively

• Introduce Yourself: Who are you? What have you done? What are your goals?
• Do Your Research: Understand who you are asking for help and what they specialize in.
• Be Professional: Respect their time, communicate clearly, and be polite.
• Be Specific: Define your problem clearly with relevant details and context.
• Show Effort: Demonstrate that you have tried to solve the problem before asking.
• Be Patient and Grateful: Remember that help is a favor, not a right.

SEE MORE LIKE THIS

Welcome to The Adulting Podcast. Hosted by Anshika and Saurabh, this podcast is your go-to for navigating the messy, exciting world of your 20s. From careers to creativity, we’re sharing honest conversations, practical tips, and the lessons we’re learning along the way. Whether you’re just starting out or looking for a fresh perspective, we’re here to help you figure things out—one episode at a time.

If you like/love/hate what you hear, write to us at @akforthevibe and @saurabh.