Hi!

I am pretty irritated and cranky right now. I’ve realised I can be a VERY volatile person at times. Definitely not proud of it.

Two years back, I got pissed and got into and ugly fight with my closest friend. And we broke up. And then I decided I am breaking up with anger. Whenever anger, irritation, crank, frustration or any of their buddies crept in, I’d block it. Or put it somewhere else. Mostly like a run or a swim or whatever. Or a good old nap.

Lately, I’ve been noticing more of it. And that it makes me feel pathetic. And I am often not nice to people. WHICH I ZUPER HATE. And in case I have some work to do, I often do a shabby job. Or none at all. All in all, it’s just bad for me.

Good thing is I’ve learnt to shut up when I am fuming. So at least I don’t say thing I don’t mean + can not take back.

Now that I have lived on both extremes, I think it’s time to find a middle ground. Or like a sweet spot – which could be slightly diverging from the mid spot – but works well for me. I am sure there must be patterns and triggers and reasons. If something makes me feel a certain way – what are those things and ways, and how can I work around them?

Or just find myself a nice couch. Either way, we work on it!

Next thing.

Oh, I decided to not crib about things I can not control. Last 3 weeks, 70% of my convos have been college-is-not-giving and traffic-will-be-the-death-of-me. I think I just tapped myself out. I’d rather try and solve them. And if that doesn’t happen, I will probably just shut up. There must be better uses for my brain.

While coming to Juhu today, I was catching up some news. My favourite kind is the green stuff. You know, trees and turtles and sustainable businesses and innovation and disasters here and there. Especially in South-East Asia. My fascination with South-East Asia comes from the six months I spent with Climate Story Labs. I hope I find something. If not, I’ll make a mini-archive of the things I find. But I want a daily thing. And I don’t have the daily-thing kind of time on hand these days. No harm trying.

Coffee-shops are AMAZING till 11 AM. Pretty empty, very quiet, little movement in my peripheral vision – ah, I love such places. Then people start coming in. One, I get distracted. Two, they’re loud. Very loud sometimes. Three, they sit like right next to me even if there are 15-20 tables to choose from. WHY?

Yesterday, we (SG, Prak, C, Me) met Prak’s cousin. A bunch of talk happened. One of the things The Elders were talking of was focus. Here’s a cool video reference from that conversation. Now, I’d give you a summary but what would you do then? Go watch, hehe.

I should get back to what I was doing.

Crank has been un-cranked.

See you around,

AK!