So, however entertaining it might be, yesterday’s post was a cop out. An all nighter with tons of work + long day at college + a streak of sleepless days. She slept at 2:30 and woke back up at 11:30. Ate and napped till next morning. So, that one was a lifeline I needed. No complaints. You can’t tell me otherwise.

About today. Woke up earlier to go see my ophthalmologist. He was on leave. So, I got breakfast at Poetry instead. Really like their pancakes. Learnt some cool photoshop things in college. And then, was busy hosting the Taste Workshop at Little House till about 8 PM. Dropped a friend to the airport, made a hang-out with some more friends out of it. I’d always wanted to go through the T2 McD drive-through. Did that too. Now I’m home, alone with my thoughts, freshly showered and looking super forward to my Sunday tomorrow. (Lord, when did life become this?) And oh, no gym today. I was hoping to squeeze that in.

As I sit here, looking back at my thoughts through the day, here’s what I can tell you about it.

One. The Taste Workshop.

This one was a C4E and Raw Draft experiment. Had been working with Manas to put it together the last two weeks. As with all such things, my biggest fear was that no one will show up. Some 25 people, other than C4E folks came in. And seemed pretty engaged. Obviously, there are a ton of things I would do differently if I were to continue doing this — marketing, programming, content of the session, curation of the audience, all that. But this was a fair attempt at making something palatable out of something so subjective. Or is it?

Another thought is, I met some people who had so far only known me on mails or through some blogs or just as a Twitter username. And that was so much fun. To be able to say, “Hi! I am Anshika from the Internet.” As is, I like saying I was raised on the Internet. More about this some other day. So far, most people I’ve met from the Internet has been a slightly underwhelming experience. I’m sure that’s also because I have my pre-conceived idea, based off some content online, of what they’d be like. But also beyond that at times. I don’t want to be entirely different from my online self. I just want to be a little more that what you see. So that.

What did we talk about? Take-ways, learnings, et al? Go find me on LinkedIn tomorrow.

Two. My grandma is better than any How We Feel algorithm.

Had a tiny moment of feeling left out. Spiralled into questioning my worth, place, life, efforts, all that. The usual. Very silly; absolutely not worth pondering over. How I wish I had thicker skin. More self-belief. Unfuckable with. Anyhow, was terribly upset. But ate my way out of the ugly feelings.

Then, mummy (I call my g-mom that) called. I picked up. And said, “Hello.” Just a word. She said I sound really upset and heartbroken. I was feeling exactly that. Wonder how she can always tell. Obviously this isn’t based off a one-time thing. But there sure might be some confirmation bias mixed in. Regardless, I love the warmth. I can’t wait to see Mummy soon.

Finally. Micro-thoughts from that day.

1. It is always super cool attempting random things at C4E. Taste, for example. Always gratitude only. May I never stop finding + building more such rooms.
2. While I struggle with finding my place and trusting that I belong in place; today, in life, I know there are some places which are definitely mine. Some shotguns I never have to call. And that’s a very comforting feeling.
3. Saw these NFC chip keychains at Third Wave today and now I’m super inspired to make some of my own cool things with it. You’ll see. I’ll put them all on SpillPot.com.
4. And oh man, how could I forget this. I have been writing here for some time. Figured I should also post some of this content on my Substack. Scheduled all my recent posts there and someone wrote in a long-ish mail. Such a warm feeling.
5. I think I might have lost the ability to chill at Little House. I’ve always walked in there for one of our C4E, Decoding Draupadi or Purple Pencil Project meet-ups. And so, there’s always been action and things do finish and people to take care of and all that.
6. Okay, bye now!
7. Sayonara!

Anshika – on Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn.

Ps: I share interesting links and stories that tickle my brain through the day on this WhatsApp group. Most of it doesn’t make it to these blogs, but should you like to join — here.

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